Lost Productivity

We're moving... as soon as we get around to it.

2010-02-09T16:37:00.000-08:00

Hi fellow non-productives,

I just wanted to announce that Lost Productivity will be upgrading to its own site, GoofOffTime.com, within the next 7 days.

This will help us better organize and categorize the ever-growing flood of quality diversions out there. Depending on reader response M.D. and I may even add a forum and assorted other virtual treasure.

Thank you for following this blog as you have and we hope to see you at GoofOffTime in a week!

King Slack and the Mac Daddy

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iPhone Game App Review: Pac-Man Championship Edition

2010-01-13T04:40:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of ign.com.

The original Pac-Man was released in 1980. Endless versions and spinoffs have assaulted our senses since that fateful year. Pac-Man Championship Edition first appeared on Xbox Live Arcade as a download in 2007. The original creators, Toru Iwatani and Namco, played a role in this remake and it shows, as the quality is high and gameplay tight.

Atmosphere/Graphics/Sound): A. Typical Pac-Man, but with some pleasant updated retro flashing colors and engaging eighties arcade audio. It's hard to improve on an original but just a few tweaks have made for a great experience.

Replay Value: A. The developers have done Pac-Man justice. This game is essentially a multitude of minigames which, after each victory, unlocks another game. The collection as a whole is amazing, with or without an expansion pack. As you unlock more levels each one becomes more challenging, yet not painfully irritating or repetitive.

Controls: B. Rarely is there a perfect control scheme for the iPod, but with four different control options you should find one that suits you. At times maneuvering tight corners can be frustrating while operating under the time constraints of some levels.

Originality & Intangibles: A. People may scoff at another Pac-Man game but this game is simply amazing fun. The variety of mazes and gameplay is reminiscent of the classic Atari 2600 Maze Craze (in a good way). Addictive is too often used to describe handheld games but this game can truly be habit forming.

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Ching Chong Beautiful: More Floppy, Painful Fun Than A Night With Charlie Sheen

2009-12-29T10:44:00.000-08:00

When I first played Ching Chong Beautiful, I was blown away by the funky Japanese game show music, wack visuals and hilarious voices. I had some trepidation playing it after hearing about the Rosie O'Donnell flap, but this is good clean and frenetic fun.

In this game your brother is being held by organized crime until you can cough up a racing thoroughbred. In a completely unforeseen coincidence, a crazy game show pops up on your TV, inviting would-be contestants to beat show personality Mr. Beautiful's obstacle course. The prize? Why, Mrs. Beautiful. Apparently she's some kind of hot horse.

CCB gives you a platform race with running, jumping and water-shaking abilities entirely consistent with an average 15-year-old. You can run while ducking, jump off walls, and grab ledges. Though the abilities are mundane, you always hear something funny when you pull off anything fancier than running. Each level has you grabbing blue icons of a fish wearing a trucker hat. When you're done, you high-five the construction worker at the end of the level, and you move on.

Backgrounds are very artfully designed and the environments gradually start to spice up. Though the first few levels may insult anyone over 10 years old, a few clever placements of terrain and obstacles engage a Ching Chong Beautiful player's patience and coordination. Somewhat like the Saw video game, more happens when you get owned. In this case, it's not lethal, but it sure is embarrassing.

Sound/Music: A+. One of the best overall Flash Game soundtracks, combined with some riotous adolescent klutz voice effects. Making it to the end of a level makes you feel like a champion with its exaggerated animations and blasting accolades.

Replay Value: B I hear hard mode is absolutely insane. Will have to check it out.

Graphics: A As smooth as you can get for hand-drawn animation. Over-the-top, like the Japanese game shows it seeks to emulate.

Controls: B+ A little frustration, where you don't get the same results for the same attempts, but the fun is in the challenge. Fortunately you don't die when you run out of time.

Originality: A- Not that much new in platformer tech but it's excellently packaged and executed.

Check out Ching Chong Beautiful at http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/520768.

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... or at least

Tiger Woods Parodies and Spoofs!

2009-12-16T16:12:00.000-08:00

Admittedly, we've been slow to get on the Tiger Woods bandwagon. Why? Because spur-of-the-moment tributes and games based on celebrity hoo-hahs wind up being downright horrible.

But, this latest round of sack-the-celebrity (or in this case, celebrity in the sack) has turned up a few valuable minutes of entertainment, enough to get you through one fifteen-minute break.

Here's what we've dredged up with our Inter-net:

Nordegren Woods: An amusing parody of "Norwegian Wood" by the Beatles. Where in the world did they get that horrible CGI? XD

People from all around the world are responding to the scandal... even in England, where guitarist and singer Johnny Black cranked out "Celebrity Love Trauma", a "one song fits all" tip of the hat to celebrities who wake up to see themselves plastered across the world's consciousness.

Jimmy Kimmel enlisted Billy Dee Williams for this hysterical bit on a Tiger Woods Commemorative Plates Edition:

... and a take on his money-making options after leaving golf...

I know that Christmas is coming... so here are two 2-for-one videos...

Dermot and Dave from Dublin put together this amusing montage of five of the 12 days of Christmas. The lyrics are ok but the footage at the end is a riot.

Last of all, David Feherty foreshadowed a little with this amusing exchange...

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-Grid-: Deceptively Difficult, Superbly Slick

2009-11-27T17:25:00.000-08:00

Candystand Games is one of the more professional Flash game companies out there, with several entries on Newgrounds like Copy Cat, Gemworks, MagiGoo, and more. I haven't checked them out, but after staying home on Black Friday, I thought I'd try out their game -Grid-.

Graphics: Slick, quasi-3D background effects with abstract globes and a game board that disappears one row of tiles at a time make -Grid- an electric blue box of eye candy. The opening sequence especially is pure geometric overload. A-

Gameplay: A little repetitious and annoying when one wrong move turns off power and you have to carefully restore power bit by bit, or use the undo button. If you're an obsessive type, you can play this game all night to relax. Another bonus, for the sort of person who agonizes over a limited number of moves, is a cumulative score. Puzzle progression is solid, but I got stuck after five puzzles and just didn't care. B

Music: A bit on the wussy side (I like the electro-trance sounds of Electric Box a lot better), though ideal for accompanying the Zen-like state of mind you may need to enter for some levels. B-

Originality: I don't think "connect the circuit" has been unique for some time. While the presentation shows a lot of top-quality work, -Grid- suffers a brown-out trying to be a ground-breaker. C

Overall: If you're looking to get into a wild RPG that starts you out as a powerless peon and rocks you through battleground after battleground for a few hours, keep looking. What -Grid- is is a mind twist made for cold, logical types that plan their days 12 moves in advance. Despite the amazing graphics, to me it's a little soulless and dry. I honestly doubt anyone would pay to unlock the extra puzzles scattered through the level list, but you never know. The execution is near flawless, and the graphics border on mesmerizing when you clear a level. B-

The Slacker is a freelance writer and can be reached at sumosalesman@aol.com.
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Guardian Rock: A Minimalist Smash

2009-09-05T12:36:00.000-07:00

A lot of times, minimalist games are from designers who are just cutting their teeth on Flash development and coding. But some of the most accomplished and original games have a clean, simple look that belies months of designing effort.

Guardian Rock is a great example of this second category. A title that takes box-moving games and requires a little bit of planning, GR casts you in stone -- I mean, in the role of a stone. You're the Guardian Rock, the last defense your ancient, treasure-loaded temple has from hordes of cute little archaeologists that squeak when you wind up and pulp them with thousands of pounds of force.

The game's difficulty curve is patient enough, but it ramps up quickly so that you're no longer breezing through ten levels at a time. The simplicity and cleverness in level design make for some fiendish layouts, and I've only made it to level 11 so far.

Animation, sound effects and visual effects (like cracking blocks and knocking dust off the ceilings) go hand in hand with the wacky 8-bit Nintendo-meets-reggae background music. The controls are very simple (directional keys) but you are able to obtain keys for smart bombs that clear a level. Sometimes even this isn't enough as you need to make sure you're lined up to exit the level, and sometimes you can accidentally strand yourself.

One plus (or minus, depending on how much time you have) is the requirement that you use MochiCoins to purchase upgrades. So far I haven't made a commitment to Mochi Games -- their virtual currency costs money -- but maybe someday when they send an innocuous, must-join Web 2.0 invite I'll bite. In the meantime, Guardian Rock offers 48 free levels. This game's definitely got my attention, and time will tell if I'll get the 24-level upgrade packs.

Overall rating: A-
Graphics: A- Simple yet functional.
Gameplay: A. One-way blocks, destroyable blocks, and more make for an interesting cerebral trip. May bore shooter fans.
Sound: A. Funky, lively, and well-balanced.
Replay value: B+. Remains to be seen whether I'll spring for the upgrade packs, but levels 1-10 have been brain-busters at times.
Other: A. Well laid out, and the interface was good enough to save 7 levels I played before I added my Facebook account.

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The Vermont Country Store: Stepping Out For Some Down Time

2009-09-05T11:33:00.000-07:00

My grandfather made a lacquered red and black checkerboard with built-in trays for holding checkers after games. The checkers themselves were cross-sections taken from a wooden broom but they were so well painted and finished that they looked factory-made. The checker trays had thin painted wooden doors that would drag over the lacquer with a cool clacking sound. One side held the checkers in a 3x4 pattern, while the other stored them in a series of Xs.

From what I was told about the old days, they seemed grim, hard, and largely joyless. But having seen that checkerboard, and played a few games too, I realized that even back then all it took was a little set-up to find a time and place for a social game or two.

I watched the last vestiges of country stores in the area vanish in the 1970s, and always kept a fondness for reminders of the "olden days". This video of the Vermont Country store made me want to stop by and unwind for a while.

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Yee-Haw! What Rednecks Do For Fun

2009-09-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

For those jobs where you don't have the supplies to make little footballs and ping them around cubicles, the chance to have fun is still there. Check out this one-ride, free-admission, industrial-strength Redneck Trailer Park.

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Mac Daddy's iPod Apps Ratings

2009-08-25T10:38:00.001-07:00

In true Lost Productivity fashion, this scrap of paper has sat around for almost 3 months, so my apologies. But Mark Ferriter (aka the Mac Daddy) has this quick list of iPod apps with star ratings:

4 stars:

Dr. Blob
7 Cities
Shooter
Centipede
iDracula
Toy Bot 1-3
Zaks
Cops & Robbers
Soldier Ants
Sentinel

3 1/2 stars:

Missile Command
Elemon TD
Fieldrunner
Crazy Tanks
Strategic Assault
Chopper
Distant Shore
Alien Abuse
Pocket God
Trapped
Uniwar
Abigale
Wolfenstein 3D

3 Stars:

Rolando
Mole Chaser
Glyder

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2009-08-11T08:10:00.001-07:00

testing twitter and blogger 1-2-3

2009-07-26T16:50:00.001-07:00

I gotta get back to my RL job... but hope 25 posts was good, and here is a good one to wrap up on: http://ping.fm/xikxM Have fun, thanks and good night!

2009-07-26T16:27:00.001-07:00

Not exactly a playground... though there are menu bars! http://ping.fm/r3AGr

2009-07-26T16:24:00.001-07:00

For the aspiring web designer... http://mycelly.com

2009-07-26T16:16:00.001-07:00

So you wanna be a programmer, huh? http://ping.fm/MJCZu

2009-07-26T16:11:00.001-07:00

I love arcana and other wild designs... http://ping.fm/RpP9O

2009-07-26T16:10:00.001-07:00

Way to cool to comprehend at times but also another favorite flash animation site. It seems kind of 90s for some reason,in a good way http://ping.fm/dBJfy

2009-07-26T16:08:00.001-07:00

http://ping.fm/dOBpw One of my all-time favorite animation sites.

2009-07-26T16:07:00.001-07:00

Man! This artist has it in the bag! http://ping.fm/NSTuX

2009-07-26T16:03:00.001-07:00

I wanna travel now! http://ping.fm/7KE9I

2009-07-26T16:01:00.001-07:00

I need this really badly... if I ever have time not officially goofing around I'll study it! http://ping.fm/MqOJf

2009-07-26T16:00:00.001-07:00

I feel a little sluggish today and this proves it. http://ping.fm/XqfUy

2009-07-26T15:58:00.001-07:00

This is a story in one sentence: I found a site called onesentence.org. http://onesentence.org

2009-07-26T15:48:00.001-07:00

I always wanted to paint Picasso style... http://ping.fm/RfKxf

2009-07-26T15:34:00.001-07:00

Need something to read? Stymied by the economy? http://fullbooks.com//

2009-07-26T15:33:00.001-07:00

Worst. Photobombs. Ever. http://ping.fm/A84ij

2009-07-26T15:11:00.001-07:00

Oo! Book trading! http://bookmooch.com

2009-07-26T15:09:00.001-07:00

Oh, I like this one. Turn your art into ASCII. http://ping.fm/huYdS

2009-07-26T15:06:00.001-07:00

The best origami I've ever seen... http://ping.fm/EZdkO

2009-07-26T15:03:00.001-07:00

Another treatment for writer's block: http://oneword.com

2009-07-26T15:01:00.001-07:00

Gotta let it out of the box... http://pandora.com

2009-07-26T14:59:00.001-07:00

You can't squeeze blood from a turnip... but you can squeeze music from a tree http://ping.fm/NAA4b

Curse Village: A Fresh Take On A Rotting Genre

2009-07-05T23:41:00.000-07:00

Zombie side shooters are strange beasts. Often a shoddily drawn game can have the best collision detection, while a professional flash game can bog down with an elaborately illustrated but cumbersomely animated character.

Curse Village looks like it was done by some pretty talented 15-year-olds. From the opening graphics to the somber piano music to the rousing intro sequences and subsequent action, the game looks well thought out and pretty solid. It also handles smoothly.

Excitement: A. With plenty of splatter, action sounds, and some pretty fast zombies, Curse Village rocks the house.

Originality: C This isn't to say Curse Village doesn't cover familiar ground well. It's just another version of "pick a zone", "buy and repair", and "give 'em hell". The Luger is the only unusual weapon out of 25 -- you'll see the rest in most shooters -- but Curse Village retreads old ground comfortably. Barricades, traps, and survivor allies help take the boredom out.

Graphics: A-. They have a cool home-brewed look to them and that brings me back to days where I used to draw action scenes in my notebook while I was in Social Studies. Rich and grim.

Controls: A. It seems a little odd at first to be controlling a disembodied gun, but hey, whatever. At least they tied the premise in with what looks like a little psychokinesis and some mysterious hitman. And you're also able to rove the entire play screen with ease, without being worried about getting hit. After a while you'll forget that tiny gun you're shooting is moving all by itself. Best of all you can damage zombies that are stacked on top of each other, which you sometimes can't do in other zombie games.

Sound: A+. Sinister synthesized zombie film music that would fit perfectly in any 1990s horror flick, and crisp gun and knife effects that don't sound like they were played and re-recorded on a microphone at home.

Replay value: A. Though it's partly because there's no save feature, I'll be going back to Curse Village for a couple more rounds, in the hope of seeing what's at the end of level 30.

Overall value: A- Get as involved as you want or walk away after a few rounds; this game is really fun.

Play Curse Village at http://www.kongregate.com/games/belugerin/curse-village.

New iPhone App Columnist Arriving: The Slack Daddy

2009-07-05T23:28:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gents, slow payers of rents, slackers high and low, there's a new guy on the show: Slack Daddy. He's hard at non-work compiling a list of fun iPhone apps.

We're going to be ramping up the blog a notch, so stay tuned. If you like our site enough we hope you'll consider becoming a sponsor.

In the meantime, check out this game: Curse Village. We just stumbled on it random eye candy style, so if you don't play it, come back and read the review!

Slacker-1

At It Again: Megaman X RPG: Chapter 1

2009-06-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

The first Mega Man game I ever played was a worn-out NES game on its last legs. I had rented it out from a convenience store in Old Town, Maine, when I was in school in Orono in 1990. It had been rented so many times I had to huff on the contacts to make them work, though that ultimately killed it.

Mega Man has come a long way from mutated John Denver cover art, branching into a leggier version while staying faithful to the squat prototype that wowed us all in the late 80s. This fan tribute, while quietly bootleg in the sprites department, throws out an original mash of RPG elements and chop-chop sprite action.

MegamanX RPG offers an improved jump-in setup. Mash enough menu buttons and you can equip your found and purchased gear, spend points to upgrade a ton of chips, each with 5 or 6 abilities, level up techniques, and more. Featuring a lateral, WoW-style talent tree for each of the main characters, there's plenty of leeway for customizing your characters as you go along.

It's really a shame that Capcom hasn't offered this guy a job yet, as seen on the game itself. Fun writing, multiple paths, an upgrade system worthy of a professional game, and deep combat make Megaman X RPG worth checking out once more.

Excitement:B. The RPG elements are about as pulse-pounding as rock-paper-scissors, which can be taken either way. Still, the mad MM soundtrack can't help but snap you out of your lethargy and a lot of the limit breaks are pretty fun. And a lot of times the sharp writing gets you pumped up enough to make it through a menu-driven boss battle.

Originality:Visual content N/A, coding A+. With true-to-genre writing, item descriptions, and game mechanics, this game is a sleeper for the slacker wishing to convert his life into a few hours mastering a game.

Graphics:N/A. Spliced and diced. Nice try overall, though some of the pixellation was never seen in a real MM game.

Controls:A-. A chaotic clutter of options, with some bogdown if you're not 7331 enough to get it all down. Still very sharp and intuitive over time. At least it doesn't say "PC load letter" anywhere.

Sound:A-. Somewhat muffled to keep total file size down, but it's high-octane, original, and two slaps across the mouth because he freakin' likes us.

Replay value:B It's possible, if you want to re-evolve all your characters again. But it's a lot easier to wear a loud necktie and walk outside, too.

Overall value:A- A little constrained by having to patch an existing game into another, but if you can get past the stitching it's a very solid effort. Great for the die-hard Mega Man geek.

Tower's Tactics: Aphelion: Major Originality Points!

2009-05-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

I really like finding a home-brewed game system, whether it's a one-page RPG or a Flash game. When I saw Tower's Tactics, I thought "Hm, could be another decent tower defense game". However, TT completely threw off my expectations and turned out to be a fun, well-crafted game with a few very minor edges I wouldn't be any better pressed to fix myself.

Excitement: N/A. This is a meter-based 2-D game, so it's a little on the slow side. It still does have its hectic fun as things warm up.

Originality: A+. While some might think TT could benefit from minor polish here and there, this title is an outstanding fusion of a creative mini combat system with multiple team members, a skill-learning system, and a campy, humorous tale of a medieval dude and his undead servant.

Graphics: A-. A curious mix, something like PHP meets a Renaissance Faire. Competent design with neat touches like a sword falling down when you're killed.

Controls: A-. Responsive enough, but it makes this 37-year-old a little squinty trying to click over and around small characters to point and click where I have to. To be fair, when you click on a special attack, you can mouse over multiple enemies until you find the right one.

Sound: A. Magnificent medieval-themed music with a haunting guitar and chant track for the world map. Combat sounds are a bit low-key but the music more than makes up.

Replay value: Unknown, but there is enough play going through the first time to make it a pleasant play.

Overall value: A

Check out Tower's Tactics: Aphelion at http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/495476.

RP Flash Heaven: Megaman X: RPG Chapter 0

2009-04-21T22:43:00.000-07:00

I always feel a little bittersweet about starting up a Flash game. I know it'll be like a candy bar where the enjoyment lasts about a minute and then it's all over. Considering the file size, it's an inevitability.

But every so often a game comes along, one that smashes the boundaries of file sizes, one that oozes, stretches and bends into several hours, even several days of deep, strategic gaming. Megaman X: RPG Chapter 0 is such a game. Taking its own sweet, luxurious time, this Newgrounds title takes this month's title crown of time wasters.

By turning Mega Man into a turn-based combat came, MMX cuts out most of the geegaws and lengthy programming sequences that give a Flash game a short life. Compressing itself into a package that would make a starlet at an awards ceremony blush with envy, MMX turns a lot of flat Mega Man sprites into a deep roleplaying experience with equippable head, arm, foot, weapon and body slots. Not only that, but players are also able to unlock special techniques by equipping special chips in there armor. The game encourages you to try to break it, even suggesting in the awesomely thorough tutorials that you wear several chips of the same time.

MMX's difficulty seesaws between laughably easy in the beginning to make-no-mistakes hard, but so far it's been a really fun ride. The mad robo-techno makes gearing up about as pulse-pounding as you can hope for, and while the sprites and explosions are a little pixellated, I don't care. It's what the designer has done with the action to make it all worth playing and building my robotic team up. There isn't any old-school arcade shooting here, but if you love the series and games where you can get lost in minute customization, MMX is the game for you. Play it at http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/491405.

Excitement: B+. Turn-based, but it's involving.

Originality: A. RPG games have been done to death, but this one manages to cram as much content in as 25 students in a phone booth.

Graphics:B+. Limited, but they capture the overall Mega Man experience.

Controls:A-. A little awkward at first, and points off for not having mouseovers to explain the scan icon vulnerabilities to squinty old-schoolers, but otherwise well done.

Sound:A+. The music overcomes all sound effects, but it's part of the cool factor.

Replay value:?? I have a long way to go before finding out. I bet I could wrangle out some more play with some alternate strategies.

Addiction factor: A+. Be warned, don't have anything that remotely resembles work on the table once you pick this baby up. Call in sometime in the week and tell the boss you're not coming in.

Overall value:A+. A great effort and any natural shortcomings are just part of the Flash game experience. Try it out today...

Quintessential Lost Productivity: Shopping Cart Hero

2009-02-11T19:38:00.001-08:00

Check it out here: Shopping Cart Hero

Excitement: B+

Originality: B-

Graphics:A Points for minimalism!

Controls:B

Sound:A Just you, the cart, and the rocket.

Replay value:D A one-trick pony, but what a trick.

Overall value:B+ Ground-smashing fun for the whole family.

Get TreeTD With Some Fun Defense Gaming

2008-11-04T18:11:00.000-08:00

The defense genre of gaming is one I thought would be hashed and rehashed by now. Originally limited to games where you defended a castle, there have been variations that have you defending gardens, redneck retreats, temples, cities, bowling alleys... and now, trees. Yes, trees.

This time, in TreeTD: Tower Defense, you set up your towers on, of all things, some branches. They sure seem pretty sturdy for the amount of firepower you can call up. The goal here is to take potshots at marble-like baddies as they roll down the limbs of the tree toward the roots. Lose enough lives and the game ends.

There's enough difference in your towers to make the gameplay interesting: there are Pebble Towers (stinky), Water, Lightning, Rock, Metal, Earth, and Fire. The elemental towers (Earth, Air, Fire, Water), like in the science they taught me in first grade, are each superior over one elemental form of bad guy. Earth beats Water enemies handily, Water beats Electric enemies, and so on. Metal and Rock? They beat everything, man. Metal fires really slowly and isn't that accurate, but it does monster damage when it hits something. One of the cool mechanics of this game is how some bullets roll along the tree limbs, and often hit something.

The playing area is huge, several screens high. There's a click-and-drag bar on the left you can use to jump down, but my 2006 computer gets all choppy trying to handle it.

I just tried it out on Medium, and was able to pepper everything with a mix of elemental, Rock and Metal towers. I didn't bother with the Pebble towers... even the programmers admitted they were lousy once you upgraded them. I guess if you do some of the harder challenges, there will be a need for them.

Not only do you have a choice of straightforward difficulty levels, you can also choose different challenges like Funnel Tree ("the hardest tree to defend on the planet"), One Life (let one creep slip to the roots and it's over), 20K (build your defenses fast -- advanced waves come every 10 seconds), Quick Release (one monster a second for 300 seconds), and Marathon (100 waves, 20 lives).

I wasn't able to really hear the sound effects over the brassy music, but they're there if you turn the music off. I'd keep the music on though, it's silly and fun in a wacky old-timey way, and there are several tracks.

This was a very enjoyable game to play, with a lot of effort put into it. Though the enemies were just a bunch of brightly colored goofballs with nothing to make them stand out much on Medium, I'm going back for another round or two of challenges tomorrow and seeing what sort of trouble I can get into.

Well done!

Excitement: B+. Some of the challenge modes are downright wack.

Originality: A. A great variation on the defense game, with great creativity on the chaotic rolldowns and multi-screen gameplay. Hectic challenges too!

Graphics: B+. Crisp and clean. Some mutant monsters of different sizes and shapes would have upped the score.

Controls: A-. Very intuitive, though some better boundaries and labeling would have made finding the upgrade button a little easier.

Sound: A. You will never hear the kind of music this game offers in another defense game ever. It is music I think John McCain would love and should have used for his campaign.

Replay value: B. Worth a try tomorrow but I don't think I'll play it after that.

Overall value: A-. A few tune-ups and extra variations here and there, and this would be an A game.

Stee-rike! Zombie Baseball

2008-11-02T22:50:00.001-08:00

I like the occasional rough-around-the-edges flash game. Where there isn't finesse, there's originality.

Zombie Baseball is a mildly gory game with a zany premise: Rapunzel-style, some hot girl is letting... baseballs?!? down to you. And, with your choice of two bats at a time, you're using these baseballs to hit zombies away.

Things start out slow and clumsy on all sides, but with some practice you can start knocking heads off the zombies with line drives. As you progress you can pick up a second bat with special powers and also upgrade Rapunzel and your own stats (strength and swing recovery).

My only beefs with the game are that there are no continues, and that the hitting strength curve is too high when you max out. At the end of the curve, you're hitting homers with every swing, when all you're trying to do is hit the zombies coming for you. Still, if you keep your batting strength (which, strangely, doesn't seem to do extra damage) at around four bars, you'll do fine.

Excitement: B. Things get hairy if a lot of zombies get close. Fortunately a few of the special bats help by drilling through zombies, igniting them, and eventually setting off nukes.

Originality: A Zombies and baseball have never crossed my mind.

Graphics: B Some of the later zombies are downright freakish. Points off for taking a lot of graphic detail off what's usually beyond the edge of the screen.

Controls: A- Solidly responsive. But if zombies get too close and you're recovering from a powered up swing, you're pooched. You'd think you could hit them away with the bat... :D

Sound: C Good zombie effects, but please stop making those annoying "Maximum ATTACK" and "Come on, come on!" phrases repeat so much. Great nuke effect.

Replay value: B+ It's easy to play through 20 rounds without losing the rest of your day.

Overall value: A-

Play Zombie Baseball at http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/466365.

Don't Be A Quitter -- Keep Playing Splitter!

2008-11-01T16:34:00.000-07:00

When a game comes up with a vibrant new take on tried and true rules and challenges, my ears pick up and the game makes its way to Lost Productivity.

Splitter is a 25-level mini-masterpiece. Instead of pushing, pulling, throwing or shooting things in your average physics game, all you do is cut them. And you can only cut wood and joints (they look a lot like yellow strings to me).

You control a total slacker of a smiley face who's subject to the laws of physics. That's right, your mug just sits there and does nothing. Kind of like me. However, you have a very sharp knife. A knife so sharp, it can slice through wood or strings in a single cut.

The law of gravity is in effect in this game, so when you cut things in strategic places, things begin to happen. Supports fall, attached spheres roll free and bonk you on the head, ramps form, and so on. You have a certain number of cuts you can make each level. The difficulty starts out just right and slowly gets fiendish from there. There are bonus stars you can collect, but the instructions don't say what you get if you collect all of them (a Herculean task requiring solid reflexes and a physics degree).

Two innovations include being able to record your best solves for people to watch online, and a limited jump-ahead feature if you really get stuck on one level. A very fun game and the music, while repetitive, doesn't grind on your like "Maximum Attack" in Zombie Baseball, a game I'll be reviewing soon!

Play Splitter at http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/467404.

Excitement: B. You cut wood and strings. It does have its moments when you carve up a particularly ornery level.

Originality: A-. It's a physics game, but some of the puzzles are elegant and downright fun.

Graphics: A. Functional and smooth.

Controls: A-. Though you can make cuts any way you want, you're going to have to deal with a lot of trial and error unless your sweater says "MIT".

Sound: B+. Complex music, with minimal sound effects for gameplay.

Replay value: C. After a day bordering on carpal tunnel, some of the crazy cuts I had to make will be left for other people to watch on the tutorial. Maybe someday before I die I'll make a resolution to solve levels 19 and up, and get all the stars, but it's not likely. :D

Overall rating: A-

Fiendishly Easy... Looking! Amorphous+

2008-07-31T19:09:00.001-07:00

This game has already chewed up 40 minutes of my time! I'm heading over to LP so I can blog it and get back to work. You may wind up cursing me later, so if you're a really addictive gameplayer, do NOT click this link: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/450670

Aren't you glad you didn't click http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/450670? I'd be. You know, I think clicking http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/450670 would have been the worst mistake you could have made all day if you were looking to have a productive day. So glad you didn't... or have you yet? :D

Well, if you did click http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/450670, you might want to give the game a chance. When you start out, all you get is awesome music and some primitive, though insidiously accelerating gameplay. Once you unlock an award, though, you get a key which unlocks your choice of goodie! I'm looking forward to unlocking the super-locked power-up at the end of the row...

Excitement: 4 stars Starts out low, then it's "Oh, no!"

Originality: 5 stars Very fun and each member of the nest you have to wipe out has its own bio. The power-ups look promising too!

Graphics: 3 stars Minimal, though smoothly animated.

Controls: 4 stars Pretty responsive, though the one-hit, one-kill nature of the game -- most enemies don't directly kill you, but they sure help -- will be ensuring you'll be restarting a few times before you get the hang of it.

Sound: 5 stars. I'd buy the album! Combat sound effects are satisfactory, and the sound of the acid burning reminds me of time spent with my dad as a kid in his sheet metal shop. It's that realistic.

Replay value: 5 stars. I hate to tell you, I'm likely going to be burning some productivity on this one!

Overall value: 5 stars. A good tension reliever and loads of rewards to unlock, all set to some amazing music. Try it now if you haven't... you can see the links up there!

At Work? Don't Slave Away -- Light The Way!

2008-07-31T09:09:00.000-07:00

Every so often a game comes along and drags you into its own little world for a few minutes at a time. Prism - Light the Way is one such game. With original music, a fun graphic layout and increasingly tricky puzzles, this is a great waste of time!

Excitement: 3 stars. A mentally engaging game where you don't really need excitement. Some of the early levels are painfully easy but good for people who put one toe in the water at a time.

Originality: 5 stars. A great spacey look and feel to it.

Graphics: 4 stars. Simple but effective. Could do without the simple patch of gauzy light at the end of each puzzle but it's still a nice touch.

Controls: 5 stars. Simplicity itself.

Sound: 5 stars. Perfect music for goofing off when you're at the puzzle selection screen. Makes you not want to work on the puzzles. :D Puzzle music takes a little time to get used to but it's original.

Replay value: 4 stars. Puzzle mode is great, but I don't like the idea of timer mode putting you back at the very beginning every time you space out, especially when I haven't had my coffee and can't even put two sentences of a blog entry together, let alone a light filter and a Bulboid.

Overall value: 5 stars. What wasting time is all about. I just like leaving the music on in the background!

Smashin' Up The Stars With StarBaron - Skirmish

2008-07-29T05:56:00.000-07:00

What would you get if you took every pointy little ship from Asteroids, dropped them in a series of Petri dishes and let them have at it? StarBaron - Skirmish is a fun little space war that just might answer that question. Balance your stars to focus on economy, ships, defense, minefields, or just crank out average stars and take over the universe with mediocrity. Hey, it worked for Star Wars. http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/449961

Excitement: 4 stars. Don't take any position you have for granted.

Originality: 4 stars. Space wars are tried and true, but this one manages to pull off an adjustable set of skirmishes with all hell breaking loose.

Graphics: 4 stars. Kind of a nice pseudo-retro look to them and things run fairly smoothly

Controls: 4 1/2 stars. Things bog down just barely on my computer when a lot of ships go flying but it's nothing too bad. I should get used to the hotkey option to select star groups too.

Sound: N/A. I don't think there was any.

Replay value: 4 stars. I don't think I'll have time to play all the different options, like single or multiple opponents, but this might be a great stress reliever someday.

Overall value: 4 1/2 stars. This is an arbitrary rating, but the game shows a lot of work went into it.

World`s Hardest Game Part 2

2008-07-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

Hi all! My thanks to Lionel for introducing me to his team of bloggers where I can show you some of the funniest games that can be seen on the web today :) So let's get started!

The World's Hardest Game does what it says on the tin. It is HARD! A lot more brain power is needed to get started off this game!

Excitement: 3Well you start off easily with a few easy puzzles to get you off the mark but as the levels progress, they do and will become harder and harder until your brain will just shut down and refuse to carry on.

Originality: 4 It is definately one of the most original games with lots of puzzles for you to enjoy during your coffee breaks :P

Graphics: 2 Not 3D but is alright. More colours would be nice though.

Controls: 4 Absolutely easy to master the controls, just use the arrow keys! :D

Sound: 2 The sound for me was very irritating but needs to be more softer and smoother.

Replay value: 3 I would definately play this again, to get my accomplishment in completing the most hardest game ever!

Overall value: 3

Now do excuse me while I go off and tackle this game with a vengrance! :D

Sumo Meets Pong: Zwingo by Kabomb Games

2008-07-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

I admit, I've corrupted my boss's husband. What used to be a hard-working, computer-illiterate man in his sixties has been replaced with a flash game-lovin', customer-ignorin' mild-mannered gaming madman.

And now it's getting worse. He starts recommending games to me now. :D

The first one he's recommended, Zwingo, is a neat take on defense games, ball physics games, and of all things sumo! It's a bit old, but the music is fresh and definitely unlike the water torture of games with short soundtracks like Starshine.

Here's how it works: you have a ball attached to a smaller ball. You control the smaller ball with the mouse and drag the larger ball around like a lovesick puppy. You have a central ball that you will pass through if you bump into it. Black balls come from the edges of the screen trying to knock this central ball out of its boundary circle. Your job is to hit the black balls and knock them out of the screen. The faster you smack them back, the more experience points you get for upgrades between rounds.

Excitement: 4. Things get a little crazy on later levels trying to use circular motion to swat straight-incoming spheres while your target ball is teetering on the edge of the boundary (Thanks to the designers for not making the round end when it's simply touching the boundary!)

Originality: 4. A very nice combination of tried-and-true defense, ball games, and sumo. What's up with the same boss on level 20 as on level 10 though?

Graphics: 3. Functional but smooth.

Controls: 4. Very responsive especially once you upgrade but it takes a little getting used to and it makes me feel a little claustrophobic; move your mouse off the screen and you've got to click on the central screen again.

Sound: 5. A great soundtrack that won't stale out on you and the minimal bump sound effects don't grate.

Replay value: 3. Simple gameplay and not much incentive to pick it up again and get to level 30. Still a fun diversion many people like my boss might like.

Overall value: 3.83 stars

Don't think so? Post your comments here!

Because missed posts = you working: Gemcraft

2008-06-29T00:33:00.001-07:00

Sorry this is a short one, but I hope you like Gemcraft. It's taking Armor Games' website by storm!

Rankings:

Excitement: 3 You need a speed-up option for it though.

Originality: 4 Balloon Wars meets defense.

Graphics: 5 Very ornate and well-rendered; shots don't just home in but linger like arcane energies.

Controls: 5 Just make sure your gems are mixed up before a wave hits.

Sound: 3 Minimal but not annoying.

Replay value: 5 has a "me play you long time" framework to it.

Overall value: 4.25

Band of the Week: Hedgehog Launch Game Rubber Band

2008-06-26T23:50:00.000-07:00

If life has you frazzled today, and you need a more uplifting experience than blasting everything in front of you into wailing shreds of prime rib, this is the game for you:

Hedgehog Launch

I thought Hedgehog Launch would be a sadder little knockoff of the cringe-inducing Kitten Cannon. However, it's a vibrant, fun experience where you'll eventually win. Yeah, no end bosses, no horrendous resource denial curve, no running out of bounces, no cheesy traps. It's such a friendly game a two-year-old could probably play it and get something out of it.

As you start out your space program for the underdeveloped Minovia Cay, you try to turn $50.00 into big moola by launching a Minovian hedgehog with a weak rubber band, weak launcher, no radar, no emergency rocket, no parachute -- heck, not even any goggles! The interface is shown as some legacy monochrome screen from the technological graveyard of the 1970s or 80s. From this upgrade menu, you can jump right into the action.

All you do is pull back the rubber band launcher you have, and try to keep your hedgehog in the air using the left and right arrow keys at first. Once you're out of fuel, the day ends and you get paid (wish it worked that way for me). If you've saved up some money for upgrades, eventually you can use the up and down keys for an emergency rocket (very handy when you're dragging on the ground) or a parachute (when you've shot way up and want to hover around for another platform that will take you even higher).

Excitement: 4 stars. A fun, engaging game that's more about the ride than getting there.

Originality: 4 stars. Takes the mechanics of Kitten Cannon and puts a fun upgrade system in with original power-ups. Shows you don't have to re-invent the wheel.

Graphics: 4 stars. Kind of minimalist, but the backgrounds and the upgrade interface are choice, and the ending could have been lame.

Controls: 5 stars. You start out weak purposely, but once you upgrade you're fine.

Sound: 5 stars. Great soundtrack once you launch in the sky and it's all you need besides some minimal sound effects. Smarmily nice end-of-round music and tally sounds too.

Replay value: 1 star. I put a hedgehog in space; I'm done. 3 stars for the more forgetful and easily amused.

Overall ranking: 3.83 stars

My rating: 5 stars This was a short, fun, intense game with nothing bad about it.

A Game With "Guts": Bounty Killers

2008-06-24T17:48:00.000-07:00

When I started out as a Newgrounds user, I got bored with all the simple games fast. Back then, most of the games were based on the same model where you shot at things with a peashooter-type weapon and the enemies would disappear bad sci-fi movie-style.

Bounty Killers is a fun, chaotic and bloody free-for-all. Choose one of three characters and go to town, literally. It's you against waves of dozens of dozens of wee people each no bigger than a dime (maybe a quarter or tea saucer if you're rich). But in numbers they're enough to give your character a run for the money and you'll get enough power-ups eventually to have a real blast, with weapons from pistols to Molotov cocktails, dynamite and gunpowder barrels. Don't expect too much variation in weapon strategies, but do check it out. A single explosion leaves a stress-busting gory mess of screaming vigilantes on-screen. And don't forget to grab their ammo too. :D

Rankings:

Excitement: 4 stars. Hectic fun though once I got all the weapons it was really enough.

Originality: 4 stars. Reminds me a little bit of Boxhead.

Graphics: 5 stars. Super-detailed 2-D characters, good movement handling. Bullets look a little 1980 Contra-style and the explosions are a little like scorching hot cotton candy but it all ties well into a common theme.

Controls: 5 stars. Flexible, mouse or keyboard. The weapon scrolling with the mouse wheel works great if you absolutely have to answer that phone and keep firing.

Sound: 4 stars. I've been kind of spoiled by Manhunt 2's bad@ss weapon reloading and firing, but this game holds its own.

Replay value: 2 stars. Maybe I'll come back when I'm in a frustrated enough mood to blow something up.

Overall rating: 4 stars

Defense Game Deluxe: Besieged on Newgrounds

2008-06-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

If you think you've tapped out the supply of defense games, guess again. Newgrounds keeps showcasing the best out there and Besieged is one of the recent smash hits!

Besieged has a lot in common with almost every defense game you've ever played. However, it has some features that make it stand out from the crowd. While your units level up like most others do these days, you also have a money-producing castle. Keep it in good shape, because if it gets dinged you make less money, sometimes a lot less, which turns into a vicious circle when you need money to defend it. Also, your support structures are purchased with a second currency, labeled with a green hammer.

There are some unit types I like too. The training camp unit dishes out experience to every other unit out there. Mines generate money (AU) every few seconds, and farms repair your castle and level it up.

Last of all is a neat reward system. Meet 39 different criteria through the course of the game and you get rewards you can use in future levels. Beginning awards are pretty small in effect, but they add up (range, resources, starting AU and more) to make the game more winnable.

Besieged is a well thought-out game with smooth, easy-to-read graphics, good music, and bit of spice to the gameplay. If you like upgrading things ad nauseam, this game is for you.

Check out the game here. Feel free to respond with some of your winning strategies! :D

We stopped -- uh, STARTED goofing around!

2008-06-22T21:44:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,

It's been a long time since Lost Productivity has been updated. However once again I'll be your host in the world of wonking, the desmene of do-nothing, the sultanate of slack. Once again I'll be working hard (not really) to find you the best videos, games, and just plain strange diversions I've found on the Net.

One of the great things about doing this blog is that I've learned a lot from the folks at Problogger (bought their book actually) so I hope to put a much better blog in place.

Any requests or comments are welcome.

Now go get back to not work! ;D

Wild Times: Strategy Defense 3, Mumbles and Happy Tree Friends!

2008-01-29T18:29:00.000-08:00

This is probably going to be one of the most bizarre matches: an awesome through-the-ages RTS game, a great defense game... and a guy who completely boofs several drives through some fast-food places. And for bonus material we have a Happy Tree Friends episode, "Ski Patrol".

Strategy Defense 3 is one of a new breed of real-time defense games where your units evolve every few seconds. This one's pretty innovative since you get a different special attack every minute or so.

Stormwinds is amazing too. This is actually an upgrade and there is a ton of flexibility. I passed on it the last time, but I am very seriously tempted to sign up for the extra content!

If you've ever worked as a drive-through person, Mumbles proves it: people do it on purpose.

And as for Happy Tree Friends... I love humor when it's presented in a corny PSA. That sweet blend of "I'm so righteous AND hygienic" narration and wanton gore just strikes a happy chord. :)

Enjoy!

Humblubbuh chockie!

Setting People On Fire, And The World's Best Telemarketer

2008-01-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

There are so many different sorts of people in the world. Black. White. Pink. Red. Yellow. Brown. Slightly green. Blue. Short. Tall. Male. Female. Young. Old.

And they must all be set on fire. After all, you are already! In this crazy race against the clock, you play the incredible Ablaze Man Who Can Yet Somehow Hide Himself As A Tree Without Smoking. It's not as dumb as it sounds, and it's a fun little breaktime diversion. Controls are simple. Left and right arrow keys move you back and forth. Ctrl hides you from the killjoy rainclouds, and the easily pawed space bar bursts you back on the scene to ignite your fellow human beings! The more you burn in a row, the higher ya sco'!

Check it out here on Newgrounds.

And, while largely unknown by name in the American Hemisphere, India's greatest modern hero has spoken to almost every American citizen, and he has become the subject of a documentary. The charismatic head of India's TeleCosmos, the mighty Manoj, is presented here for your audial enjoyment. Please have your credit card ready.

Back from a lost hour at the Coffee Shop Game!

2008-01-14T11:08:00.000-08:00

I've been hesitant to return to Lost Productivity, dear readers, because this is not one of those fabled blogs where someone sits down every day for five minutes, blogs something shallow, stands up, and promptly proceeds to make $5,000 in banner ad revenue.

Yet.

Yes, every short entry you see is the result of entire minutes of searching for good games and animations in the diversionosphere. And on top of that, there is the matter of testing these games and clips for you! Do I want you to waste time? Yes. Do I want you to waste your time unproductively? No. I would like everything you check out on Lost Productivity to ultimately be worth it. It may not help you write that report that is sitting there glaring at you from your desk, but if you've ever wanted to try a small business out, try out the Coffee Shop Game here from NewGrounds and Armor Games!

Visit the Coffee Shop here...

And if you're more of a video guy, here is a hilarious parody of avante-garde artistry. No feelings were hurt in the making of this movie.

One tiny link. Hours of lost time.

2007-10-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/404923 Enjoy now, curse me later.

Family Day at Lost Productivity: That Special Monkey and Alkie Kong 2!

2007-09-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Tone Dawg for this latest YouTube video: That Special Monkey!

Our cousin-in-law Brian Alonzi has mellowed out quite a bit, but he used to freak us out as kids by making up balloon animals and then stomping on them or popping them with a lit cigarette. I found the first video game character ever that sounds like Brian did in his heyday: Alkie Kong 2!

Last of all is a cool game I picked up on and started playing right off the bat: Castle Wars. You can play with one player, a friend in the same room, or in a chat room (where your friends can go too, if you know someone a few cubicles down)! Check it out here... it's almost break time! :D
http://notdoppler.com/castlewars.php

RUN WHILE YOU CAN! SUPER-ADDICTIVE GAMING! MULTIPLAYER JELLY BATTLE!

2007-09-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

You have been cautioned. You have been warned! MULTIPLAYER JELLY BATTLE IS THE MOST ADDICTIVE GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED ON NEWGROUNDS!

I found MJB on Newgrounds last night. I tested it out, just a little bit. One more game. One more game...

Four hours later, I was still playing. I couldn't believe it.

MJB pits you not against stale AIs, but hundreds of real-time players, three at a time. There are no Jims, Toms and Rays here. Instead you will fight against Jellies with such pithy names as Fartpaste, DogMonkey, and... Mike Lakewood?!? Everyone starts out at the bottom of the screen. The bottom rows are empty but the top rows, which drop down a row at a time, are loaded with crazy weapons and powerups!

Do you go for a freeze to hit the player resting beneath a mine? Double damage with Jelly Rage? Take away your opponents' powers with a De-Bonus? Turn invisible? Forfeit? Teleport out of danger? Or fire off the mighty Blast, Air Strike, or Nuke?

Whatever you do, the strategy can change in a minute or even a second! If two Jellies land on the same square, you can be sure there will be a fight, called a Jelly Roll. Whichever Jelly gets the highest number, from 1 to 10, gets to stay on the square, and the other Jelly gets shoved off!

As I wrote this, I just survived a fiendish four-way where one lurker kept sniping at me from across the board with Air Strikes and second-guessing me with effective Laser shots. He fired off a nuke at me -- but I had one unit of Shield left! Then I did a Nuke with Jelly Rage, doing 60 out of 100 possible points to him. We struggled across the field, picking up powerups and shooting at each other, till we both jumped on the same square: a Laser. I won the Jelly Roll, knocking him off and doing 15 more points of damage to him. 25 points remained, and I still hadn't fired off the laser. I did, dealt 30 points of damage, and won the game.

And I just got into a fight where a player named Iran got a Nuke... it wasn't pretty. :D And then I played a game where I went as low as 5% health, to battle back on a final Blast while I had double damage (110% damage to him, woo)! But anyway, try the game out. And last of all, make it to Multiplayer mode and get a 20% discount from Logitech!

Hipster Olympics!

2007-09-10T19:25:00.000-07:00

I usually put games up first, but this YouTube video is instant gold. :D

Are you cooped up in an office wishing you made pizza for a living instead? Don't! Trust me. But do check this game out! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/396462 Pizza Shack Deluxe: all the fun of balancing your reputation against running around like a chicken with your head chopped off.

And last of all, we have Bloons! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/374372 Bust your way through a huge pile of balloons of different colors, with some really crazy darts!

Cow Tippin'! Rat Flippin'!

2007-09-09T21:06:00.000-07:00

www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/398741 All the fun of cow tipping, pies and hoes included (ouch).

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/397965

Launch a rat! :D Use your extra speed to keep you going on an amusing retro bar top scene.

And for those of you who toughed it out in the 1970s playing video games, I'd like to present: Adventure Speed Mode! :D

And last of all, this semi-awful tribute to River City Ransom, one of my all-time favorite games. See you tomorrow! :D

We're back! SILENT HILL: ORIGINS SPOILER!

2007-09-08T16:54:00.000-07:00

Welcome back! We've got some great stuff for people who want the inside scoop on Silent Hill: Origins! The first clip is so far inside the game you may not even want to see it if you plan on playing it!

And a song from the game:

And now for a few games... :D

Gaming by Caffeine Drip: Or, The Spreadsheet Solution

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/398949 The Egypt Game: for when you absolutely, totally have to have something to keep you from going stark raving looney from boredom while you're doing things like spreadsheets, word processing, or dealing with irate customers by chat.

...Or Do You Just Want To Smash Something?

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/398528 Lemon Smash. Come on, how fun can a game be like this? Actually, plenty! If you're stressed out to the point you want to crush something into a fine pulp, head for this game PRONTO before you cause any lasting damage to your monitor, paperweight, bank vault, big toe, frontal lobe, or other random bleedy bits.

Lost productivity....

2007-09-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

Due to connection problems, Lost Productivity will not be publishing for Friday. We hope to resume publishing as soon as possible and will have one post for each day of delay when we finally catch up. It sure isn't from lack of motivation. I've had a great time blogging for LP so far and hope to keep it going for a long time.

See you soon,

Lionel Houde
Publisher, Lost Productivity
From his parents' place

Still on a tight schedule, but try these out...

2007-09-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/398083
A very Zen game. Take your time, use the mouse from the P menu, and give it a try. Pretty relaxing.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/319609 Rock-Paper-Scissors... Monkey-Nuke-Dynamite-Sponge-Woman-Devil... :D This is an old favorite.

And here are three videos. This is Brett Dennen jamming live, and The Hauntening, and a surprise. Gotta go but enjoy. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HW1N66jJA8

This is my buddy Lothar Patten. He overcame homelessness to make a documetary featuring Ted Kennedy, Ted Danson, James Carville, Wesley Clark, Carol Moseley-Braun, John Kerry, Joe Lieberman, and Howard Dean (George Bush's security detail turned him down as a security threat, but judge for yourself). If you know anyone who can help Lothar go national, he's looking for some help!

Quick dirty links, all the fun

2007-09-04T21:32:00.000-07:00

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/396386 http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/397205

And a bit of good music for your day.

An Absolutely Fiendish Diversion: Impossible Quiz 2

2007-09-03T16:08:00.000-07:00

Man, oh man, is this game EVIL. Try it out: Impossible Quiz 2. The only thing saving us all from being fired is bombs that conveniently explode if you don't have a clue and/or should really be doing something else.

IQ 2 uses some cultural knowledge, so be prepared to think so far outside the box you suffer oxygen deprivation. I've only made it to the stage with the cursor coating. Good luck!

And for anyone who's had problems with presentations... let this girl make you feel like Orson Welles by comparison. And following her are a few clever (also by comparison) parodies.

I hope you're not working... but if you must... Brett, Sean, Floyd and Serling

2007-09-03T05:50:00.000-07:00

Labor Day. A day to celebrate Labor, the mighty set of gears that turns the nation's economy.

So stop turning already! :D Take a few minutes. After all, they've made a holiday up for you. Take a few minutes and enjoy it on the same day, could you? Your boss probably doesn't want to be here either. And if you are the boss... more power to you. :D

Here is some Brett Dennen music he did live with Sean Hayes. I got a shock when I saw what he looked like after hearing his voice on "Desert Sunrise". This is one majorly talented kid -- he opened for John Mayer (I think it should have been the other way around):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HW1N66jJA8

And here is a little parable from the 1950s, remixed in the 2000s with 1970s wisdom:

Unwind, it's FRIDAY! Half an hour of fun, guaranteed, and a game!

2007-08-30T21:59:00.000-07:00

I wish I had been a kid after the year 2000. I would have tried to make something like this: Demented Cartoon.

CAUTION: You will need a half hour and a minute or so. Toss your projects out the window, polish up your blow-off excuses, and sit yourself here during your 15-minute coffee break (or lunch, if you really need to play it safe. But hey, it's just a job).

And if you need something more (or less) do to, check out Holo Holo. It's a smooth little game that leaves no mental aftertaste to clog up the rest of your work day.

Office Allegories & Destructo Tanks

2007-08-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

I've never seen Just Jack before, but here's a good song I got after typing out "Writer's Block":

And for some furious tank combat action, try http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/397568: Destructo Tanks.

I've got to bank on the previous extra post I did, but see you tomorrow with more cool stuff!

Working Overtime Just For You.

2007-08-29T00:01:00.001-07:00

The "I Need Bed" Version: Just Click The Links :D

2007-08-28T22:31:00.001-07:00

Hexiom: A truly original puzzle game. Pretty easy the first few levels.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/396889

Features autosave, and makes a great game if you load up your cubicle with co-workers (not that you have any work to do... :D )
http://youtube.com/watch?v=HLuhPBuy6-0 Embedding disabled -- but if you've every had a manager who can't count, this is for you.

And for those of you having a "why bother" day... :D

And last of all, a little psychological cruelty, with (I hope) no lasting scars.

Battle Garden and Dating Losers

2007-08-27T23:19:00.000-07:00

If you need a quick fragfest to clear your head, try Hostility: Battle Garden. Great if you're tired of people with goofy pants.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/395930

If you're feeling down at the office, I think this self-esteem brigade may just be able to help you out:

I just did a search for Lost Skeleton of Cadavra to add some clips, but I burst out laughing when I came across this:

Bean and Bowling For Bosses: Hilarious Video and New from Newgrounds!

2007-08-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

Bowling for Pam?

If you have a half hour to kill, try Bowling Alley Defense. Fairly quick levels, easy controls. Not too complex, but try slugging it out against Joe DiMaggio and you're in for a fight! :D

And, Sandwiched In... Some Major Laughs

This YouTube clip features one of my favorite entertainers, Rowan Atkinson, also known as Mr. Bean or Blackadder.

Tune in, zone out, smash blocks: Noidzor

2007-08-24T04:35:00.000-07:00

I just got my first comment from a Mr. M, who's at a library and can't make the most of the sound. So here is a flash game for all you people at libraries who need to keep it sounding respectable: Noidzor.

The author explains a little bit about the game here:

"A mystical and dark twist on the 'Breakout' concept. We've taken the concept and made it relatively unique, with features and game-play never done before. The game features skill advancement, health and mana, strategy, power attacks (that you can upgrade), and much more. You also play as a monster, and instead of trying to keep the ball (orb) from falling off, your main objective is to break the seals and avoid the attacks. It was a fun game to develop and I'm sure you'll love it and maybe even become addicted :P (my emphasis :D )"

Play Noidzor at http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/390987

And for all you angry librarians out there:

Enjoy!

RED RING OF DEATH AND EYEZMAZE

2007-08-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

RED RING OF DEATH

What is Red Ring of Death? An evolution from Windows' "Blue Screen of Death" to XBOX of the "you're screwed" indication that a major hardware fault has occurred.

MAKE THE SECRET MOVE WITH YOUR HAMMER FOR DELIGHT!

This may seem like a short post but no lost productivity was lost in the making of this game; Eyezmaze actually has a lot of games on one uchi-buchi site.

A weird series of games with a Japanese flair to them.

And if you're really disappointed by the brevity of this post, okay. I'll add in a demo of my SecondLife invention, Collide Go Boom. See you tomorrow!

If I only had some volume

2007-08-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Bubber,

Thanks for letting me post on your blog, too bad I'm stuck in the library right now and can't crank up the volume on some of the cool flash stuff and YouTube you added!

Cutting-Edge Gameplay: Retro Edition

2007-08-22T02:55:00.000-07:00

"There's Rations In Them Thar Tunnels"

Back when my brothers and I were kids, we had a godawful TI-99/4A computer. It had only 16K (!) and a power adapter with a plastic lump on it the size of a loaf of bread. That adapter would heat and then start to make a humming sound like a small electrical transformer after only an hour of use. The only thing our computer was good for, besides typing out godawful magazine-bought programs that didn't work was... playing Tunnels of Doom, a game we bought for $60 off the Roy triplets in cassette and cartridge form (and all that for one game).

TOD was awesome. It was the Everquest of our time. 10 levels of pure mild apprehension and pixels so big you could tile a roof with them. I was thrilled to see this footage of TOD surface on YouTube.

For retrogaming pleasure, I recommend Captain Low-Rez: Blastopod and Thy Dungeonman 3! Enjoy!

WARNING: EXTREME SLACKING CONTENT: GAMMA BROTHERS

I was just about to sign off for the night (it's 6:33 AM) but I just tried Gamma Brothers for the second time... and you know when a video game really takes and you get in the zone? I just spent half an hour on Gamma Brothers in a mad retro shootout. Do check it out... if you don't have a job to go to. Because you won't once you start playing this if you have to be anywhere important. Gamma Brothers

YouTube humor I can't keep to myself till tomorrow!

2007-08-21T06:14:00.000-07:00

Blogging Like I Only Have Four Seconds Till Deadline: Four Second Fury

2007-08-21T05:34:00.000-07:00

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/309403

This is the perfect game if you have less than five minutes to goof around with, though all the variation in the minigames makes it worth playing a few times. Each game only lasts four seconds or less! It's like being thrown out of bed and asked to make presentations on ten different topics... though a lot more fun. :D

If you have a little more slack in your day, try this out instead.

Interactive Buddy

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/218014

Comedic License

Bureaucracy meets buffoonery... and with two minutes left to deadline, here is today's Lost Productivity! Enjoy!

And the last-minute Random Lost Productivity Story of the Day: Ransomware Makes Its Ugly Debut, from the BBC

Ten minutes worth of laughs in 9:32: Communications In Our Town

2007-08-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

If you like the corniness of the 1950s and the razor wit of MST3K, Romeorhino is the YouTube director for you. He currently has 35 remade shorts from the 1950s and IMO is funnier than MST3K could ever hope to have been.

Awesome shooter: Heli Strike

2007-08-19T15:59:00.000-07:00

Don't let the title fool you. This isn't just some kid throwing together another basic shooter where you shoot at dozens of squiggly-drawn planes with banana-shaped bullets. The graphics and physics on this game are about as close as you can get to photorealistic for a flash game. And each enemy unit you fight has its own tactical signature. Collision detection is sweet; you can't destroy enemy helicopters, for example, by firing a missile under their blades like you see in so many games.

Here it is. Hope you've got an excuse for missing the meeting. And wait till you get to the gunship.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/395194

New Twist On Old Games Day -- & Oh Man!

2007-08-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

I'll have the rest posted later tonight, but check out this game. If you've ever played a defense game from Newgrounds, this will prove quite different. Like original defense games, you have a development budget. But this time, instead of getting money for destroying units, you get money every few seconds while you're sending a unit or units on their chosen paths. Send a vehicle past all the units and you score toward your required goal (number of units sent through successfully) and some extra cash. Put extra cash toward upgraded units. Simple? No. Try it out yourself!

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/394425

And... Asteroids Revenge III... Keep humans from blowing up all the asteroids! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/393248

I added that last link this morning... but I forgot it was Saturday. For your distractionary pleasure I am also offering this Tetris video... but I doubt it's like any you've seen. :D

Is it break time again?

2007-08-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is.

Got a defense game from Newgrounds I hope you like. Fast, easy to learn, pretty fun, features upgrades, and you can save if you really, really, REALLY have to get back to work... nah.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/385527

Or...

...try your hand against The Impossible Quiz. http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/365143

Too run-down for games? Here's a pick-up!

And last of all, an office tribute to SecondLife.

Woops, I slacked off! Welcome to Lost Productivity!

2007-08-16T05:06:00.000-07:00

Yikes! I had planned on starting this blog, Lost Productivity, yesterday, but I didn't set my alarm and... Anyway, here are a few things to help bust up some stress. :D I will have new content posted every weekday by 9 AM EST, so please come back tomorrow!

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/392519 Newgrounds' City Smasher: ideal if you're on a coffee break. While it's fun, there's a tight time limit at times so you can either get back to work quickly or restart another game. Great audio. :D

Where's an Egg? "Russian" "retrogaming" from the 4-bit geniuses at Videlectrix.

Not a gamer? Check out this awesome parody of Bjork, by Dawn French, star of "Murder Most Horrid", and "French and Saunders".

Anyway, I'm sorry I missed yesterday's post and I promise I'll set my alarm tomorrow :D Enjoy.