Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Ching Chong Beautiful: More Floppy, Painful Fun Than A Night With Charlie Sheen

When I first played Ching Chong Beautiful, I was blown away by the funky Japanese game show music, wack visuals and hilarious voices. I had some trepidation playing it after hearing about the Rosie O'Donnell flap, but this is good clean and frenetic fun.

In this game your brother is being held by organized crime until you can cough up a racing thoroughbred. In a completely unforeseen coincidence, a crazy game show pops up on your TV, inviting would-be contestants to beat show personality Mr. Beautiful's obstacle course. The prize? Why, Mrs. Beautiful. Apparently she's some kind of hot horse.

CCB gives you a platform race with running, jumping and water-shaking abilities entirely consistent with an average 15-year-old. You can run while ducking, jump off walls, and grab ledges. Though the abilities are mundane, you always hear something funny when you pull off anything fancier than running. Each level has you grabbing blue icons of a fish wearing a trucker hat. When you're done, you high-five the construction worker at the end of the level, and you move on.

Backgrounds are very artfully designed and the environments gradually start to spice up. Though the first few levels may insult anyone over 10 years old, a few clever placements of terrain and obstacles engage a Ching Chong Beautiful player's patience and coordination. Somewhat like the Saw video game, more happens when you get owned. In this case, it's not lethal, but it sure is embarrassing.

Sound/Music: A+. One of the best overall Flash Game soundtracks, combined with some riotous adolescent klutz voice effects. Making it to the end of a level makes you feel like a champion with its exaggerated animations and blasting accolades.

Replay Value: B I hear hard mode is absolutely insane. Will have to check it out.

Graphics: A As smooth as you can get for hand-drawn animation. Over-the-top, like the Japanese game shows it seeks to emulate.

Controls: B+ A little frustration, where you don't get the same results for the same attempts, but the fun is in the challenge. Fortunately you don't die when you run out of time.

Originality: A- Not that much new in platformer tech but it's excellently packaged and executed.

Check out Ching Chong Beautiful at http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/520768.

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