Sunday, October 14, 2007

One tiny link. Hours of lost time.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/404923 Enjoy now, curse me later.



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Sunday, September 16, 2007

Family Day at Lost Productivity: That Special Monkey and Alkie Kong 2!

Thanks to Tone Dawg for this latest YouTube video: That Special Monkey!



Our cousin-in-law Brian Alonzi has mellowed out quite a bit, but he used to freak us out as kids by making up balloon animals and then stomping on them or popping them with a lit cigarette. I found the first video game character ever that sounds like Brian did in his heyday: Alkie Kong 2!

Last of all is a cool game I picked up on and started playing right off the bat: Castle Wars. You can play with one player, a friend in the same room, or in a chat room (where your friends can go too, if you know someone a few cubicles down)! Check it out here... it's almost break time! :D
http://notdoppler.com/castlewars.php

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Friday, September 14, 2007

RUN WHILE YOU CAN! SUPER-ADDICTIVE GAMING! MULTIPLAYER JELLY BATTLE!


You have been cautioned. You have been warned! MULTIPLAYER JELLY BATTLE IS THE MOST ADDICTIVE GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED ON NEWGROUNDS!

I found MJB on Newgrounds last night. I tested it out, just a little bit. One more game. One more game...

Four hours later, I was still playing. I couldn't believe it.

MJB pits you not against stale AIs, but hundreds of real-time players, three at a time. There are no Jims, Toms and Rays here. Instead you will fight against Jellies with such pithy names as Fartpaste, DogMonkey, and... Mike Lakewood?!? Everyone starts out at the bottom of the screen. The bottom rows are empty but the top rows, which drop down a row at a time, are loaded with crazy weapons and powerups!

Do you go for a freeze to hit the player resting beneath a mine? Double damage with Jelly Rage? Take away your opponents' powers with a De-Bonus? Turn invisible? Forfeit? Teleport out of danger? Or fire off the mighty Blast, Air Strike, or Nuke?

Whatever you do, the strategy can change in a minute or even a second! If two Jellies land on the same square, you can be sure there will be a fight, called a Jelly Roll. Whichever Jelly gets the highest number, from 1 to 10, gets to stay on the square, and the other Jelly gets shoved off!

As I wrote this, I just survived a fiendish four-way where one lurker kept sniping at me from across the board with Air Strikes and second-guessing me with effective Laser shots. He fired off a nuke at me -- but I had one unit of Shield left! Then I did a Nuke with Jelly Rage, doing 60 out of 100 possible points to him. We struggled across the field, picking up powerups and shooting at each other, till we both jumped on the same square: a Laser. I won the Jelly Roll, knocking him off and doing 15 more points of damage to him. 25 points remained, and I still hadn't fired off the laser. I did, dealt 30 points of damage, and won the game.

And I just got into a fight where a player named Iran got a Nuke... it wasn't pretty. :D And then I played a game where I went as low as 5% health, to battle back on a final Blast while I had double damage (110% damage to him, woo)! But anyway, try the game out. And last of all, make it to Multiplayer mode and get a 20% discount from Logitech!



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Monday, September 10, 2007

Hipster Olympics!

I usually put games up first, but this YouTube video is instant gold. :D



Are you cooped up in an office wishing you made pizza for a living instead? Don't! Trust me. But do check this game out! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/396462 Pizza Shack Deluxe: all the fun of balancing your reputation against running around like a chicken with your head chopped off.

And last of all, we have Bloons! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/374372 Bust your way through a huge pile of balloons of different colors, with some really crazy darts!

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Sunday, September 9, 2007

Cow Tippin'! Rat Flippin'!

www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/398741 All the fun of cow tipping, pies and hoes included (ouch).



http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/397965

Launch a rat! :D Use your extra speed to keep you going on an amusing retro bar top scene.

And for those of you who toughed it out in the 1970s playing video games, I'd like to present: Adventure Speed Mode! :D




And last of all, this semi-awful tribute to River City Ransom, one of my all-time favorite games. See you tomorrow! :D



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Saturday, September 8, 2007

We're back! SILENT HILL: ORIGINS SPOILER!

Welcome back! We've got some great stuff for people who want the inside scoop on Silent Hill: Origins! The first clip is so far inside the game you may not even want to see it if you plan on playing it!



And a song from the game:



And now for a few games... :D

Gaming by Caffeine Drip: Or, The Spreadsheet Solution

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/398949 The Egypt Game: for when you absolutely, totally have to have something to keep you from going stark raving looney from boredom while you're doing things like spreadsheets, word processing, or dealing with irate customers by chat.

...Or Do You Just Want To Smash Something?

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/398528 Lemon Smash. Come on, how fun can a game be like this? Actually, plenty! If you're stressed out to the point you want to crush something into a fine pulp, head for this game PRONTO before you cause any lasting damage to your monitor, paperweight, bank vault, big toe, frontal lobe, or other random bleedy bits.

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Thursday, September 6, 2007

Lost productivity....

Due to connection problems, Lost Productivity will not be publishing for Friday. We hope to resume publishing as soon as possible and will have one post for each day of delay when we finally catch up. It sure isn't from lack of motivation. I've had a great time blogging for LP so far and hope to keep it going for a long time.

See you soon,

Lionel Houde
Publisher, Lost Productivity
From his parents' place

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Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Still on a tight schedule, but try these out...

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/398083
A very Zen game. Take your time, use the mouse from the P menu, and give it a try. Pretty relaxing.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/319609 Rock-Paper-Scissors... Monkey-Nuke-Dynamite-Sponge-Woman-Devil... :D This is an old favorite.

And here are three videos. This is Brett Dennen jamming live, and The Hauntening, and a surprise. Gotta go but enjoy. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HW1N66jJA8



This is my buddy Lothar Patten. He overcame homelessness to make a documetary featuring Ted Kennedy, Ted Danson, James Carville, Wesley Clark, Carol Moseley-Braun, John Kerry, Joe Lieberman, and Howard Dean (George Bush's security detail turned him down as a security threat, but judge for yourself). If you know anyone who can help Lothar go national, he's looking for some help!



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Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Quick dirty links, all the fun

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/396386 http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/397205

And a bit of good music for your day.



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Monday, September 3, 2007

An Absolutely Fiendish Diversion: Impossible Quiz 2


Man, oh man, is this game EVIL. Try it out: Impossible Quiz 2. The only thing saving us all from being fired is bombs that conveniently explode if you don't have a clue and/or should really be doing something else.

IQ 2 uses some cultural knowledge, so be prepared to think so far outside the box you suffer oxygen deprivation. I've only made it to the stage with the cursor coating. Good luck!

And for anyone who's had problems with presentations... let this girl make you feel like Orson Welles by comparison. And following her are a few clever (also by comparison) parodies.









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I hope you're not working... but if you must... Brett, Sean, Floyd and Serling

Labor Day. A day to celebrate Labor, the mighty set of gears that turns the nation's economy.

So stop turning already! :D Take a few minutes. After all, they've made a holiday up for you. Take a few minutes and enjoy it on the same day, could you? Your boss probably doesn't want to be here either. And if you are the boss... more power to you. :D

Here is some Brett Dennen music he did live with Sean Hayes. I got a shock when I saw what he looked like after hearing his voice on "Desert Sunrise". This is one majorly talented kid -- he opened for John Mayer (I think it should have been the other way around):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HW1N66jJA8

And here is a little parable from the 1950s, remixed in the 2000s with 1970s wisdom:




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Thursday, August 30, 2007

Unwind, it's FRIDAY! Half an hour of fun, guaranteed, and a game!

I wish I had been a kid after the year 2000. I would have tried to make something like this: Demented Cartoon.

CAUTION: You will need a half hour and a minute or so. Toss your projects out the window, polish up your blow-off excuses, and sit yourself here during your 15-minute coffee break (or lunch, if you really need to play it safe. But hey, it's just a job).

And if you need something more (or less) do to, check out Holo Holo. It's a smooth little game that leaves no mental aftertaste to clog up the rest of your work day.





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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Office Allegories & Destructo Tanks

I've never seen Just Jack before, but here's a good song I got after typing out "Writer's Block":



And for some furious tank combat action, try http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/397568: Destructo Tanks.

I've got to bank on the previous extra post I did, but see you tomorrow with more cool stuff!

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Working Overtime Just For You.



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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The "I Need Bed" Version: Just Click The Links :D

Hexiom: A truly original puzzle game. Pretty easy the first few levels.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/396889

Features autosave, and makes a great game if you load up your cubicle with co-workers (not that you have any work to do... :D )
http://youtube.com/watch?v=HLuhPBuy6-0 Embedding disabled -- but if you've every had a manager who can't count, this is for you.

And for those of you having a "why bother" day... :D



And last of all, a little psychological cruelty, with (I hope) no lasting scars.



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Monday, August 27, 2007

Battle Garden and Dating Losers

If you need a quick fragfest to clear your head, try Hostility: Battle Garden. Great if you're tired of people with goofy pants.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/395930


If you're feeling down at the office, I think this self-esteem brigade may just be able to help you out:



I just did a search for Lost Skeleton of Cadavra to add some clips, but I burst out laughing when I came across this:

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Bean and Bowling For Bosses: Hilarious Video and New from Newgrounds!

Bowling for Pam?

If you have a half hour to kill, try Bowling Alley Defense. Fairly quick levels, easy controls. Not too complex, but try slugging it out against Joe DiMaggio and you're in for a fight! :D

And, Sandwiched In... Some Major Laughs

This YouTube clip features one of my favorite entertainers, Rowan Atkinson, also known as Mr. Bean or Blackadder.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Tune in, zone out, smash blocks: Noidzor

I just got my first comment from a Mr. M, who's at a library and can't make the most of the sound. So here is a flash game for all you people at libraries who need to keep it sounding respectable: Noidzor.



The author explains a little bit about the game here:

"A mystical and dark twist on the 'Breakout' concept. We've taken the concept and made it relatively unique, with features and game-play never done before. The game features skill advancement, health and mana, strategy, power attacks (that you can upgrade), and much more. You also play as a monster, and instead of trying to keep the ball (orb) from falling off, your main objective is to break the seals and avoid the attacks. It was a fun game to develop and I'm sure you'll love it and maybe even become addicted :P (my emphasis :D )"

Play Noidzor at http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/390987

And for all you angry librarians out there:



Enjoy!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

RED RING OF DEATH AND EYEZMAZE

RED RING OF DEATH

What is Red Ring of Death? An evolution from Windows' "Blue Screen of Death" to XBOX of the "you're screwed" indication that a major hardware fault has occurred.



MAKE THE SECRET MOVE WITH YOUR HAMMER FOR DELIGHT!

This may seem like a short post but no lost productivity was lost in the making of this game; Eyezmaze actually has a lot of games on one uchi-buchi site.

A weird series of games with a Japanese flair to them.

And if you're really disappointed by the brevity of this post, okay. I'll add in a demo of my SecondLife invention, Collide Go Boom. See you tomorrow!

If I only had some volume

Hey Bubber,

Thanks for letting me post on your blog, too bad I'm stuck in the library right now and can't crank up the volume on some of the cool flash stuff and YouTube you added!

Cutting-Edge Gameplay: Retro Edition

"There's Rations In Them Thar Tunnels"




Back when my brothers and I were kids, we had a godawful TI-99/4A computer. It had only 16K (!) and a power adapter with a plastic lump on it the size of a loaf of bread. That adapter would heat and then start to make a humming sound like a small electrical transformer after only an hour of use. The only thing our computer was good for, besides typing out godawful magazine-bought programs that didn't work was... playing Tunnels of Doom, a game we bought for $60 off the Roy triplets in cassette and cartridge form (and all that for one game).

TOD was awesome. It was the Everquest of our time. 10 levels of pure mild apprehension and pixels so big you could tile a roof with them. I was thrilled to see this footage of TOD surface on YouTube.

For retrogaming pleasure, I recommend Captain Low-Rez: Blastopod and Thy Dungeonman 3! Enjoy!

WARNING: EXTREME SLACKING CONTENT: GAMMA BROTHERS

I was just about to sign off for the night (it's 6:33 AM) but I just tried Gamma Brothers for the second time... and you know when a video game really takes and you get in the zone? I just spent half an hour on Gamma Brothers in a mad retro shootout. Do check it out... if you don't have a job to go to. Because you won't once you start playing this if you have to be anywhere important. Gamma Brothers

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

YouTube humor I can't keep to myself till tomorrow!

Blogging Like I Only Have Four Seconds Till Deadline: Four Second Fury

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/309403

This is the perfect game if you have less than five minutes to goof around with, though all the variation in the minigames makes it worth playing a few times. Each game only lasts four seconds or less! It's like being thrown out of bed and asked to make presentations on ten different topics... though a lot more fun. :D

If you have a little more slack in your day, try this out instead.

Interactive Buddy

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/218014

Comedic License

Bureaucracy meets buffoonery... and with two minutes left to deadline, here is today's Lost Productivity! Enjoy!



And the last-minute Random Lost Productivity Story of the Day: Ransomware Makes Its Ugly Debut, from the BBC

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Ten minutes worth of laughs in 9:32: Communications In Our Town

If you like the corniness of the 1950s and the razor wit of MST3K, Romeorhino is the YouTube director for you. He currently has 35 remade shorts from the 1950s and IMO is funnier than MST3K could ever hope to have been.



Awesome shooter: Heli Strike

Don't let the title fool you. This isn't just some kid throwing together another basic shooter where you shoot at dozens of squiggly-drawn planes with banana-shaped bullets. The graphics and physics on this game are about as close as you can get to photorealistic for a flash game. And each enemy unit you fight has its own tactical signature. Collision detection is sweet; you can't destroy enemy helicopters, for example, by firing a missile under their blades like you see in so many games.

Here it is. Hope you've got an excuse for missing the meeting. And wait till you get to the gunship.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/395194

Friday, August 17, 2007

New Twist On Old Games Day -- & Oh Man!

I'll have the rest posted later tonight, but check out this game. If you've ever played a defense game from Newgrounds, this will prove quite different. Like original defense games, you have a development budget. But this time, instead of getting money for destroying units, you get money every few seconds while you're sending a unit or units on their chosen paths. Send a vehicle past all the units and you score toward your required goal (number of units sent through successfully) and some extra cash. Put extra cash toward upgraded units. Simple? No. Try it out yourself!

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/394425

And... Asteroids Revenge III... Keep humans from blowing up all the asteroids! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/393248

I added that last link this morning... but I forgot it was Saturday. For your distractionary pleasure I am also offering this Tetris video... but I doubt it's like any you've seen. :D

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Is it break time again?

Yes, it is.


Got a defense game from Newgrounds I hope you like. Fast, easy to learn, pretty fun, features upgrades, and you can save if you really, really, REALLY have to get back to work... nah.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/385527

Or...



...try your hand against The Impossible Quiz. http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/365143

Too run-down for games? Here's a pick-up!



And last of all, an office tribute to SecondLife.

Woops, I slacked off! Welcome to Lost Productivity!

Yikes! I had planned on starting this blog, Lost Productivity, yesterday, but I didn't set my alarm and... Anyway, here are a few things to help bust up some stress. :D I will have new content posted every weekday by 9 AM EST, so please come back tomorrow!


http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/392519 Newgrounds' City Smasher: ideal if you're on a coffee break. While it's fun, there's a tight time limit at times so you can either get back to work quickly or restart another game. Great audio. :D

Where's an Egg? "Russian" "retrogaming" from the 4-bit geniuses at Videlectrix.

Not a gamer? Check out this awesome parody of Bjork, by Dawn French, star of "Murder Most Horrid", and "French and Saunders".



Anyway, I'm sorry I missed yesterday's post and I promise I'll set my alarm tomorrow :D Enjoy.